Parent Issues and TV
Ok, I watch this show called Starting Over. It is kind of a reality show/ soap opera all based on women's lives. These women move into a house to deal with issues in their lives so they can lead better, happier, functioning lives. There is a lot of counseling, life coaching, etc. It is like nails on a chalkboard for NerdDad. Now that the kids are napping I am watching today's episode on TIVO(gotta love it). The shrink on the show, Dr. Stan, has said something I have never heard about parents before. You know how everyone always says, "they did the best they could" so you can't blame anyone? He pointed out that parents don't always do the "best they could". That sometimes they make parent centered decision instead of the child-centered decisions. And now I am quoting, "We as children always want to somehow forgive our parents without confronting the issues." He goes onto say that sometimes those decisions are mistakes and we can forgive for that. I just find that refreshing.
posted by NerdMom at
1:25 PM
2 Comments:
Certainly there are parents who do not take care of their children and don't do the best they could. My understanding is that those are not the parents you are referring to here. All other parents "do the best they can", sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing. When I say of my parents "They did the best they could" it is a forgiving statement. I know they didn't always do things in my best interest and I forgive them for those times. I think it is very important to acknowledge when we have been wronged (by parents or anyone) because (1) we cannot forgive if we don't acknowledge the wrongdoing and call it what it is and (2) by excusing wrong behavior, we give ourselves the excuse to do the same thing (especially if it was a parent who we will tend to emulate without trying).
By
Sara Edwards, at 4:38 PM
I am actually talking a little bit about those first kind of parents. On the show they were talking to a woman who dropped her daughter off to her father for a weekend visit and never picked her up. Her own mother kind of abandoned her to her grandmother. I am not just talking of complete extremes either though. I completely agree with what you said about excusing things as a blanket.
By
NerdMom, at 4:49 PM
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