Respecting Your Children's Time
Do your kids throw a fit when you call them to dinner? How about bed time? Is it because you don't respect their time?
I know, this may sound like a shocking statement coming from me. As many of you know, I do not believe in child centered parenting but that is not what I am talking about. Has their ever been a time your kids have walked up to you and asked you something and you told them that you were in the middle of something and to give you a few minutes? So in other words you wanted them to respect you and your time.
Giving a time warning (5 minutes until dinner, 10 minutes and you will have to clean up your craft, etc) shows that you respect that they are doing something that you respect.
Do you want to have kids that get involved in whatever they are doing? Do you want them to concentrate on their activities? Well, of they can be pulled away at any minute no child is going to be all the vested in their activities. A time warning gives them the security that they can wrap things up or get to a stopping so they know they won't just have to abandon their efforts.
The real dirty secret...respect your kids' time and they respect you and your time more. My kids really value that warning so when they need something from me they are willing to give me that same kindness. "Mom, I would like some more water when you get a chance." Isn't that so much nicer?
Also, when you respect your kids they know it. So if plans have to change ("Kids, Mom didn't realize what time it is. We gotta go now!") they handle it with a definate modicum of grace.
This is a win-win. You get a payoff with your kids now and you take another step at raising awesome adults!
I know, this may sound like a shocking statement coming from me. As many of you know, I do not believe in child centered parenting but that is not what I am talking about. Has their ever been a time your kids have walked up to you and asked you something and you told them that you were in the middle of something and to give you a few minutes? So in other words you wanted them to respect you and your time.
Giving a time warning (5 minutes until dinner, 10 minutes and you will have to clean up your craft, etc) shows that you respect that they are doing something that you respect.
Do you want to have kids that get involved in whatever they are doing? Do you want them to concentrate on their activities? Well, of they can be pulled away at any minute no child is going to be all the vested in their activities. A time warning gives them the security that they can wrap things up or get to a stopping so they know they won't just have to abandon their efforts.
The real dirty secret...respect your kids' time and they respect you and your time more. My kids really value that warning so when they need something from me they are willing to give me that same kindness. "Mom, I would like some more water when you get a chance." Isn't that so much nicer?
Also, when you respect your kids they know it. So if plans have to change ("Kids, Mom didn't realize what time it is. We gotta go now!") they handle it with a definate modicum of grace.
This is a win-win. You get a payoff with your kids now and you take another step at raising awesome adults!
Labels: child rearing
posted by NerdMom at
9:38 PM
3 Comments:
Aw. That's nice!
By
TRS, at 10:15 PM
You are so right!
We have practiced this respect with our 3 teens and they are polite and thoughtful to us and each other because of it.
Also, if you are a mom/dad with a child that pulls on you and whines while you are talking with another person.....trying to get your attention....talk to them about proper interuptions.
1) if mama is talking....wait patiently beside her with your hand on her shoulder (this is the signal...mama I NEED to talk to you)
2) if mama puts her hand on yours....this means....hold on! I promise as soon as the conversation has a courteous break in it..I WILL TALK WITH YOU RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT!
3) mama....when the conversation breaks...talk to your child (this shows the child and person you are talking with courteousy!
4) and remind them mama is so thankful that you are patient and polite by waiting and not insisting I stop talking to Mrs. So & So to hear you ask if it's time to go yet! or whatever!
Oh...and in an emergency...then it's ok to POLITELY interupt the conversation!
I don't know too many families that practice teaching their kids NOT TO INTERRUPT ADULTS!
Maybe it's a southern thing!
By
Wanda, at 10:56 AM
we too are not into "child centered parenting," and i totally agree with this. i think it is important to respect their time from the get go (when they are little). just giving them a time warning, helps them to be on the same page as you. i see that my kids respect me, and even help when they have been considered.
By
Denise, at 8:02 PM
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